Count your blessings

Hick story Part 2

Where was I? Oh yeah, drunk driving........ So the three of us are getting ready to leave the bar. I have had two beers, they have had, I don't know. Who's driving? Not me........Super crisp Mullet decides he should drive his own car and I agree though I feel bad about the fact that I am about to get into a car with someone who is knowingly intoxicated. We all make choices..... So, we start off. I will say that the driver of the car is handling himself very nicely and we are driving at a pace no faster that driving miss daisy. Twists and turns and hand shakes and High fives and I have a thirty pack of beer on my lap. I am crunched in the back seat so this may be the best position for me in the event that we crash into something. Fingers crossed, someone mentions something about a goose. A goose? I have no idea what to think of this and I do not really give it much thought. We must be getting close to the house.

Goose.
We pull up to the house DUI free and All with our feet on the ground. I hear what must be a goose somewhere in the distance. Holy shit I think, will I die? What have I done? I say my prayers before going any further and walk towards the house.......To my left is a goose squawking it's head off and doing it's best to be a guard goose. I may never see sunlight ever again......... We walk by the goose and into the house. We don't have to take off our shoes......

Immediately, there is an old man on the couch with no shirt and watching TV. His name is Steve, I hope his hands are clean. I have to take a piss.... I look around at my surroundings to see if I am in psycho ville........Big screen TV, OK furniture........Maybe things will be OK...... Who knows.....Food is being ordered, because the taco place downtown that my hosts thought was open, has been closed for quite some time....... Into the basement.

Hats.
Friends, this is where this story takes a strange turn, I made it out alive and I made it out with my wits about me. Though at the time, I wasn't sure what was going to happen. So like I was saying on the ceiling, were hundreds of hats. I see a dart board lit up like Hollywood, and I see the bar. There is stuff strewn everywhere, there is a sink and next to the sink is a cutting board with a rolled up bill. No surprise there as to what that is...... So I crack open a beer and we are all talking about different things. The man with the golden mullet it talking about being eccentric which translates into being crazy as far as I am concerned. A lot more talk about nothing and then the food arrives. I won't die will I? They wouldn't feed me pizza then kidnap me and go all pulp fiction zed on me right? So, we eat, more talking and talking of respect and respect my house and respect my dog and goose. The dog, on a side note, has been trying to hump my leg and get better acquainted with me. Then, the ashes. I forget how now, but some way or another his wife that has recently passed comes up and Mullet man asks me if I would like to meet her. I am trying to get out of this situation with a smiling grin before I start running like hell out the front door so I say yes. He brings over a marble looking box and He says " this is Pat" I put my hand on the box and hold it there a minute or so. All the while the Golden mullet man is staring me down in the eye and keeping up with his talk of respect and all that sort of thing. After I am introduced to the ashes, Our poor host, takes the box back to it's place and proceeds to talk to the box. I guess it helps him through. He comes back over to where we are and is talking some more but bursts into tears. I see his friend tell him things are going to get better and he gives em a hug. Maybe I'm not in danger after all. We start playing darts, I keep hearing these strange inside joke type things that could easily be directed at me as some strange form of foreshadowing of things to come........or maybe I am just paranoid. So more talking, finish the game of darts, I see my out. If anything is going to happen it would be now or if I stayed a little longer. I decide to go. I start making my way up the stairs and put on my coat and I can see the door and I am not going to lie, my heart beat speeds up just a little bit. I have flashes of horrible things If I had been kidnapped etc...........But there is the door and I am walking past the guard goose and out into the night. A free man, in shock of the journey I had just been on. Words only describe so much. This place had to be seen, smelt, touched to realize the full eeriness of it all. I awoke from a dream in a way.........